Have you ever asked for God to take you deeper in your relationship with Him? It’s a faith-filled desire given to us by God Himself. It’s a stirring from within, as we see God’s character revealed in our life and come to know His faithfulness, produces discontentment. Our spirit is amped up when we see God work and we want more. It’s as if a veil of limitation, self-doubt, and fear is lifted and we are simply looking into the eyes our God with complete security and peace.
I imagine this was Peter after participating in the miracle of Christ’s multiplication of the loaves and the fishes. So as he peered at a figure in the night while waves crashed around the boat Christ told him to get into, he had god-given courage. Inside of him, there was a stirring that wasn’t content simply asking Christ to come to save him from the storm. No, he asked Christ to call him deeper. “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water (Matthew 14:28).” He knew the character of Christ, and he had already seen the impossible earlier that day. At that moment, the storm around him was secondary to the desire of Peter’s heart to be a greater participator in Christ’s work. We know the story from there. Peter did the impossible. In the midst of the storm, Peter took a step of faith and walked on water. Then his focus shifted. In an, “Oh crud” moment, Peter realized he was out of control and he floundered.
This is such an accurate description of my walk with God over the last few months. The show of faith, the stepping out, and most of all the “Oh crud” moment followed by me reaching out to be saved from drowning. And I knew the same question Christ asked of Peter, would be asked of me, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt? (Matthew 14:30).” It looked like a failure and on top of that, a reprimand. Trust me, it felt like a failure as grabbed for my discipleship leaders after choking on water. I felt ridiculous and embarrassed for stepping out of the boat in the first place. I armed myself to hear the reprimand; the “O you of little faith”. The words came but the tone was one I didn’t expect. They didn’t come as an accusation but as encouragement. “First, let’s get you breathing normally again.” I was told. “Good. Now, let’s look at God’s love and His faithfulness. Do you see it? Why did you doubt? How can we help you step out of the boat again?”
This isn’t failure, it is growth. It is discipleship. It is evidence of a faith that isn’t stagnant but constantly reaching out for God. This is the process in which one step on the water, turns to two, and three, and four. Don’t be afraid to ask for the deeper things of God, but don’t go on the journey alone. We will be imperfect in our pursuit, but those who trust in the Lord will not be put to shame (Romans 10:11).
Lord, call me out into the unknown once again and give me greater revelation of who You can be in my life when I surrender.